Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Stafford Rachel Macy

Author:Stafford, Rachel Macy [Stafford, Rachel Macy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2014-01-07T00:00:00+00:00

LOVE ALL I DO

When the caller said she heard I was great at organizing large groups and making things happen, I knew what was coming next. Would you be willing to head up a really worthy project that does so much good for so many kids in the community?

My mouth opened, and I felt like there was only one right answer — the one that would make her happy. And I knew that what I wanted to say felt like the wrong answer.

Declining these kinds of requests has always been difficult, if not impossible, for me. As a lifelong sufferer of what I call the Three P Syndrome (Perfectionistic People Pleaser), I know the right answer — the one people expect to hear — is yes.

So I lived half of my adult life doing everything I was asked to do, and doing it at the highest level of quality and effort — even if it killed me. In fact, I did everything so well that nearly every single day another volunteer request magically came my way.

But you know how that story ends. My servant heart and lack of boundaries were a near-lethal combination. So I learned to say no. Still, on occasion, it’s hard to say, like when one perfectly nice woman was on the other end on the phone waiting to hear me say, “Sure, I’ll do it.”

But this time I said, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to do that this year.”

And then I waited.

Miraculously, the lights did not flicker, my hair did not fall out, and the world did not come to a screeching halt.

The woman simply said, “Thank you.” And that was that!

Although it felt awkward, no was the right answer — for me . . . and for my family . . . and for our life at this juncture. My heart leapt with joy.

So how did I finally get to the place where the word no did not leave me a guilt-ridden mess, wondering if I could somehow help out more if I just stopped sleeping altogether?

Let’s just say, it didn’t happen overnight.

When I experienced my breakdown-breakthrough moment, I realized I had to be intentional about how I spend my precious time here on earth. David Allen’s quote, “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything,” spoke volumes to me. I made a mission statement consisting of what I most wanted to accomplish in life. I called it my “Life List,” and it was surprisingly short.

RACHEL’S LIFE LIST

• I want to know who my children and spouse are as individuals by being a constant presence and source of love and support in their lives.

• I want to use my God-given gifts as teacher, writer, and encourager to write and speak words that help people grasp what really matters in life.

I began using my Life List whenever I was asked to assist in any activity outside of my regular responsibilities. If the request did not align with the goals on my list, I said no.

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